New Airline Industry

Sometimes I wonder if this isn't what flying is really coming to. I'm sure you've heard that the airlines are now charging people 15.00 to have an exit row seat pre-assigned. That would be Northwest Airlines, "coach choice" and yes, this is truly happening. Just google it and you'll get lots of hits.

This email has been passed around among travel agents and frequent flyers and basically folks disgruntled by being nickel and dimed to death, oh wait, not nickels and dimes anymore, that went out with the 10cent pay phone when I was still just a kid. Now they're extorting the green stuff now at every turn. I for one won't be surprised to see this happen. Greed and the almighty dollar. My mom keeps telling me, there will no longer be a middle class as far as our society goes. I have to think she's on to something there. And you thought that red and green were simply Christmas colors. This may sound ridiculous, but how far from the truth do you really see this being?

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat-locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to
stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem (grunts). Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right -- you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way.
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here -- take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? Whatever will I do with it?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.

And then people wonder why I stay home!!!